


What did the vampire say to the witch?

by hkandi



Category: Naruto
Genre: 90 minutes to gift, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dancing, Discord: Umino Hours, Eat Halloween candy while reading, F/M, Gen, Halloween, M/M, Secret Relationship, Umino Hours Discord Server 90 Minutes To Gift Exchange, Who's wearing what, halloween party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27304222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hkandi/pseuds/hkandi
Summary: All their mutual friends want is for Kakashi and Iruka to just go on one date, so they try to put their matchmaking skills to work at Tsunade's Halloween party. But Kakashi and Iruka can handle this on their own, thank you very much.
Relationships: Hagane Kotetsu & Kamizuki Izumo & Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Mitarashi Anko & Umino Iruka, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 12
Kudos: 80
Collections: 90 Mins To Gift - Halloween Edition





	What did the vampire say to the witch?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [radkoko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/radkoko/gifts).



> Happy Halloween!

(I don't own any characters etc etc)

"I'm almost ready. Do you have everything for your costume?" Naruto called out, as he shoved things into his backpack.

"I do, do you have everything you need for tonight?" Iruka called back, as he approached the bedroom and leaned on the doorway. 

"Yep!" Naruto said, continuing to pack. "Got my costume, my bag, and pajamas."

"Clean underwear?" 

Naruto paused, pursing his lips. "Yes?"

Iruka rolled his eyes, crossed the room to a bureau, and opened a drawer before flinging underwear at the boy, hitting him in the face. "Point to me!"

"Some example you are sometimes," Naruto sighed. "Are you still going out tonight?"

"Of course I am! You'll be out with your friends, it's a Saturday night, and it's Halloween!"

"It's just at a house," Naruto laughed. "How much fun will that be?"

Iruka shrugged. "As much fun as you'll have going trick or treating?"

"Nah, we're going to have more fun!" Naruto said, as his phone pinged. He checked it and grabbed his bag. "Sasuke and Itachi are almost here, so I'm going to head out."

"Call me if you guys need anything," Iruka reminded him.

"Iruka," Naruto whined. "I'm staying at Sasuke's house tonight, and we're going out with our friends, and Itachi, and Kiba's sister. We're going to be fine!"

"I believe that, but just in case," Iruka said, walking him to the door. "And don't eat strange candy."

"Right! I'll give it to Kiba instead! Bye!"

Iruka shook his head as he waved to the Uchihas in their car, who waved back, and headed back inside once they had left.

After a shower, his own phone rang, and he put it on speaker while he towel-dried and combed his hair.

"I think I'm coming down with a cold, or something worse," a male voice said.

"You're still going," Iruka replied.

"It could be the flu, it's that time of year."

"Good thing we all got our flu shot. Mostly. Probably. I did, so whatever."

The voice sighed. "What are you doing?"

"Drying my hair after my shower."

"Ooh, let's video chat!"

Iruka laughed. "Stop wasting time and get ready."

"My costume is good to go, I just don't want to go."

"It will be fun."

"I doubt that."

"There's free food and drink."

"I'm only slightly interested."

"You get to see me."

Iruka rolled his eyes as the other line was silent for a moment.

"Fine."

"I don't know why I put up with you sometimes," Iruka said, leaning towards his phone to semi-yell into it.

"I don't know why either," the voice said. "But I'm glad. Oh, I'm getting a call, I should take that."

"Don't be late," Iruka said. "See you tonight."

They hung up and Iruka shook his head again, as he finished getting ready.

__________

By the time Iruka got to to the party, it was dark out, kids were trick or treating, and the party was just starting, though it already looked like many had already showed up.

"Ru!" Anko shrieked as he was walking to the front door. "I've missed you!"

"I saw you three days ago," Iruka laughed, pausing so she could walk up the front path herself, where she pulled him into a hug. "Nice costume."

Anko grinned and stepped back, twirling in place. "I'm a sexy referee, get it?"

"I got it," Iruka laughed. "Unsexy referees don't wear hot pants and knee high socks."

"Well, I love this, whatever you are. I might steal it later."

"I'm a male witch," Iruka said, holding out his arms a bit. He was in a full length, hooded brown robe, with long flowing sleeves and lighter brown embellishments.

"Anyway, let's party!" she said, grabbing his arm and entering, where they saw a number of people they didn't know, and a few they did. They ran into some of their actual friends in one of the first floor rooms.

"I don't even know where I am," Iruka said, looking around.

"Yeah, Tsunade's house is crazy big, and she's pushed all the furniture around for more space, so every room is just a party room now," Shizune said as she passed by, wearing a silver flapper costume.

"Hey!" a voice called out, and Iruka and Anko headed over to Kurenai and Asuma.

"You guys look great," Iruka said. The pair were clearly going for a theme, with Kurenai as a police officer, and Asuma in a denim on denim prison uniform.

"Kurenai can take all the credit," Asuma said, "I just paid."

"That's the way to do it!" Anko cackled. "Who else is here?"

"I think pretty much everyone," Kurenai said. "We've seen them here and there. It's easy to get lost here, plus there's the outside and the basement, which I think is going to be a dancefloor soon."

"Some party," Iruka whistled. "Glad we scored invitations."

"Ah, Tsunade loves us all," Kurenai laughed. "Plus I think she invites, like, everyone in her phone."

"Now I don't feel so special," Iruka sighed.

"If you score a number tonight you will," Anko said, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow. "Maybe with Kakashi?"

"What?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah, I still think you should go for it," Anko said, sipping her drink.

"You would make a cute couple," Kurenai agreed.

"Asuma? Back me up here?" Iruka pleaded.

The other man scratched his beard and shrugged. "Why not? You guys have hung out together with the group a bunch since he moved back into town a few months ago, give it a shot. I could just give you his number if you want."

"No you will not!" Kurenai shrieked. "That's no fun!" She turned to Iruka. "You have to get it yourself."

"Why do I have to ask?" Iruka said, frowning. "He could ask me for mine."

The others exchanged a look.

"He could --"

"And he probably wants to --"

"But he won't --"

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm here to have fun, if I see him, maybe I'll talk to him. And if we ever end up actually going out, I don't want to hear a word from you all, got it?"

"Got it!" Anko said, and the others nodded. "Now let's get some food!"

___

A short time later, they were in the large kitchen with plates of small bites, eating, drinking, and laughing, when they were joined by their other friends.

"Ooh, you all look so good!" Anko yelled.

"Thanks, little lady," Genma drawled around the toothpick in his mouth, tipping his cowboy hat at her. 

"Has anybody actually seen Tsunade yet though?" Raidou asked, standing next to Genma, in a white astronaut jumpsuit.

The others shook their heads as Gai approached, and the group was silent for a moment as they took in Gai's costume.

"Wow," Iruka said.

"Not what I expected this year, Gai," Anko said.

"What? Is something wrong with my costume?" Gai asked, looking down at it.

"No!" the group shouted.

"We're just used to you always being in a green jumpsuit," Kurenai said.

"Or dressed like a turtle," Asuma added.

"Although that one year you were an army man was pretty cool," Genma posed.

"But you make a great Riddler!" Raidou said, and the others nodded. "It's really great!"

Gai stepped back and struck a flashy pose. "The power of riddles is still so hip, is it not?"

"Yep, same Gai," Genma sighed. "Where's your other half?"

"My rival is here somewhere," Gai said, looking around, and Anko shot Iruka a look before she looked around too.

"Ru," she said, suddenly, "can you get me some more chips?"

"You can have mine," Iruka offered.

"I want the tortilla chips," she said. "Please?"

"Fine," Iruka sighed, leaving their group and walking among the snack tables.

"Assasin's creed!" someone shouted at him. "I love those games!"

Iruka couldn't help but laugh as he continued to peruse the snacks, grabbing a mini candy bar as he walked.

"I should have asked Anko where she saw those chips," Iruka sighed to himself.

"You should have just told her to get them herself," a voice said behind him, and Iruka turned.

"Hi, Kakashi," he said.

"Yo."

They stood in silence for a moment, looking at each other.

"What's your costume?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi looked at him and titled his head. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"I'm a vampire."

"A vampire?" Iruka asked, surprised.

"Yeah, a classic vampire costume," Kakashi replied. He was wearing black pants, a white button down dress shirt, and a short black cape with a purple satin lining. "And, a simple one. But hey, my socks match my cape," he said, showing a sliver of purple at his ankle.

Iruka laughed. "That's what counts, I suppose."

"I like your Gryffindor robe," Kakashi said.

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Those are wizards, I'm a witch."

"Wizards, witches, same thing."

"And anyway, I'm a Hufflepuff," Iruka said, as he resumed looking around. "Oh! I see the chips now. Do you want some too?"

Kakashi shrugged as Iruka set off to another snack table, Kakashi following him.

"You know, our friends want me to ask for your number tonight," Iruka said as he put some chips and salsa on a small pumpkin-themed paper plate.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep."

"What did you tell them?" Kakashi asked, stealing a chip off Iruka's plate.

Iruka looked at him and added more chips to the plate. "That I thought you should ask for my number."

"That's fair," the other man agreed. "What did they say?"

"Something about you being you," Iruka said, standing to face him.

They looked at each other in silence again.

"Well, good thing I asked for your number three months ago," Kakashi said, winking at him.

"I think I was the one who suggested we swap numbers," Iruka pointed out. "To confirm an address for an away game."

"But I used it to ask you out. And remind me again just how Gai convinced me to become his assistant coach for the kids' soccer team?" Kakashi groaned.

"Rumor is he challenged you after Ebisu's job transferred him," Iruka commented.

"Sounds about right. So, what now?"

Iruka looked around. "Well, we're still keeping this under wraps, so just...be you, and I'll be me..."

They headed back to their friends, slightly parting ways as Kakashi greeted Genma and Iruka passed Anko her chips.

"You got me salsa too, you're the best!" she cooed. "How'd it go?"

Iruka shrugged. "We made small talk."

"Make bigger talk!" she whispered, before they were dragged into other conversation.

They continued to mingle around each other and the other party goers, before Tsunade appeared, dressed as Cleopatra.

"Everyone! The kids outside are winding down, we can take things up a notch! If you haven't been outside yet, get your butts out there, and we're turning it up downstairs!"

She began to shoo people in different directions, and Iruka found himself moved outside, where he ran into Izumo and Kotesu.

"I've been looking for you guys all night!" Iruka said. "You guys look great!"

"Thanks!" Izumo said, as they stood in yellow "Average Joe's" uniforms. "Kotetsu loves Dodgeball, so we thought it would be a fun costume."

"You're...a monk?" Kotetsu asked.

"Male witch," Iruka sighed. "Not that anyone gets it."

"A black hat would help," Izumo offered. 

"Anyway," Iruka said, moving on from that topic.

They caught up on their lives as they hadn't talked for a week or so, not that much had occurred in that time.

"Anyone here catch your eye?" Kotetsu asked Iruka. "Lots of attractive people."

Iruka laughed. "I'm not here to meet anyone."

Izumo pouted. "Why not? Naruto's with friends, you're a single free adult tonight.

"Wait," Kotetsu interrupted. "I saw you talking to someone earlier. Some guy in a cape. Stupid costume, but he was good looking."

"Oh, I don't know," Iruka said, hoping the night would hide his blush. "We have some mutual friends and just kind of ran into each other."

"Well, I hope you run into him again," Izumo said.

"And again, and again, and again," Kotetsu added, laughing.

__________

Kakashi wandered down to the basement with Gai, who said that it was "time to engage in youthful dancing!"

He sighed. It was dark, loud, and busy. And he wasn't a dancer, so there was that. At least it was was a large basement, so there was still space.

He sighed again, and began to look around as his eyesight acclimated. Kurenai was dancing with Asuma. Gai had gotten pulled into dancing with a playboy bunny, and Kakashi rolled his eyes at the unoriginal costume.

He headed off in search of the basement bar, as knowing it was Tsunade, there would be plenty of alcohol everywhere in the house.

Finding it a few minutes later, he leaned against the wall as he drank, scanning the crowd again.

He couldn't help but smile when he saw two men wearing Dodgeball costumes, now that was a good costume. And, funnily enough, they were talking to a referee as they danced.

Kakashi squinted. Something seemed familiar about the referee's ponytail...

The referee shuffled as they danced, and as their profile came into view, Kakashi quietly laughed to himself.

Suddenly, being in the basement wasn't so bad, as he watched Iruka dancing with his friends.

"Alright, ghosts and ghouls, let's change it up!" the DJ said, moving into another song. "Find some savage love for yourselves tonight!"

Kakashi wrinkled his forehead at the strange introduction as the song played.

"If I woke up without ya, I don't know what I would do. Thought I could be single forever 'til I met you. Usually don't be fallin', be fallin', fallin' first," boomed in the basement, and the crowd danced along.

Kakashi couldn't take his eyes off Iruka, who was dancing and clearly enjoying himself, even more so when he caught Kakashi's eye and smiled.

"Savage love, did somebody, did somebody break your heart?" continued, and Kakashi had to admit it was a decent song, though he may have been biased due to the referee's dancing...

The song eventually ended and moved into another, and Kakashi watched Iruka lean in towards his friends and mime feeling hot.

Iruka walked away, and Kakashi followed, snagging his wrist a short distance away as they moved throughout the crowd to another part of the makeshift dancefloor.

"Oh no," Iruka laughed, talking over his shoulder as they headed upstairs. "A vampire in a dark basement, should I be scared?"

"Only of my lack of dance moves," Kakashi said, leaning down slightly so Iruka could hear him. 

They made their way to the backyard and grabbed bottles of water, soon finding empty chairs and sighing as they got off their feet.

"What happened to your costume?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka laughed and looked down at himself. "Anko wanted to swap, something about wanting to do something in a cloak. I didn't want more information. Good thing I already had on black jeans, and that I can fit into the shirt."

"I'll say," Kakashi purred. "I enjoyed the show," he said, winking.

"Too bad we didn't dance together," Iruka teased. "I haven't seen your terrible dance moves yet."

"That's probably for the best," Kakashi commented. "Besides, a lot of eyes could have been on us if we danced together..."

"Well, we chose to keep this a secret," Iruka said, leaning back to look at him. 

"Should we not anymore?" Kakashi suggested, and Iruka looked at him wih raised eyebrows as he took a drink.

"Should we tell people?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi looked at him. "If you'd like. Our friends are already hoping for it, aren't they?"

Iruka frowned. "I want us to make that decision together, and not for their sake."

"Well, I don't want to keep this a secret if you don't want to..."

Iruka thought about this. "I know we decided to not tell people right away so it wouldn't seem weird if it didn't work out past a few dates...but it could be nice to not have to be hidden. Like, we could go on winter dates and not watch our backs."

"Winter dates?" Kakashi asked, laughing.

"You know, ice skating, hot beverages, snowball fights."

Kakashi nodded. "I could do that."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"I'd want Naruto to know first," Iruka said. "And to see if he's fine with it."

"Maa, why wouldn't he be fine with it? He loves me."

Iruka rolled his eyes. "He says you're a lazy coach who spends more time reading than coaching."

"First, Gai is the main coach, so he should do more work. But hey, I got Sasuke and Naruto to work together and lead the team, and who taught them their signature moves? Me."

Iruka laughed. "That's true."

"Let's talk to him tomorrow," Kakashi suggested. "I have candy I bought for him, and we can all go out with the dogs. They win everyone over."

"You only have candy for him?" Iruka said, taken aback.

"And for you," Kakashi quickly added.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"I suppose our friends will take the credit," Iruka laughed. "That they got us together tonight."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Maybe we just won't tell them for a while. Milk it for what it's worth. Get them to sit us together, maybe buy us dinner and drinks to get us out more."

"You mean get you out more," Iruka teased. "What if they already saw us holding hands?"

Kakashi sighed. "I guess our cover is blown then. But in the meantime, this has been fun, but I'm beat."

"Want to call for a car and head out?" Iruka asked, and Kakashi nodded, standing up and extending a hand.

"Let's blow this popsicle stand," he said, and Iruka laughed, taking his hand and following him out, neither caring who saw them leaving together.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback and suggestions welcomed!
> 
> Let's connect, I'm on [tumblr](https://hkandiu.tumblr.com/)


End file.
